I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
