In the future we'll all be gay
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
