He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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