So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
