I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
