Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
