Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just invented taco cereal.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
