dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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