Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it because I queefed?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She told me I should be a condom model.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
