i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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