Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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