I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
