the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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