I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
