Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
