Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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