I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
