I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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