We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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