:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Randomize
