Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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