alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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