windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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