wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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