I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
