he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
