I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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