We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
