i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
