oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
