I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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