What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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