I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
