I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
