My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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