I need help removing her.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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