We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
