My sheets look like a crime scene.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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