ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
