Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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