I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
