walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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