You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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