What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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