I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
