Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
