so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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