you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
sex in a hospital.. check
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
