I need help removing her.
well you can't waste a boner
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize