as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
