i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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